we didn't even touch

you know how they say that we don't need to take our clothes off? I think I understand now

we didn’t even touch and yet you are burned into my mind.
The second I saw you I knew you were magical in a way that I couldn’t resist. The way you carry yourself with all these colours. Your eyes a shimmering hazel reminding me of fall and your bright smile reminding me of spring.
I wasn’t even standing in your circle when our eyes met. You took my attention from the conversation I was supposed to be a part of and made me blush like a lunatic crazy enough to fall for someone’s smile towards a stranger whom you made eye contact with.
But I couldn’t help, I needed to talk to you.
I took my feet and carried them over to you with looks on my back from the conversation I just left to meet you, just you.
That awkward ‘hi’ I stumbled underneath my breath was me shooting my shot. I’m sorry I couldn’t do better, you took my breath and with it my words.
I probably stared at you for a little too long before I looked over to the people next to you. I had already made a fool out of myself and we both knew it, so when you started laughing it made me even more nervous, but when I saw your eyes locked into mine and realised your body was leaning over to me while we laughed, I felt it, you are home.
I didn’t need to stumble over my words again, you saw me, saw my willingness to overcome my fear to show you that I fell for you and you held me.
You created a space in which I was able to get comfortable and settle the thought of you not absolutely hating me for a moment, cause yes my fear was way bigger than I would like to admit.
You see, I saw the love of my life and knew I was about to make the first impression, I was about to write the first page of the romance of my life. So forgive me if it wasn’t perfect, I tried.
Ideally I would have given you flowers before our first shared drink, but I didn’t know I would meet you that night. And as you know from now on you get flowers from me before every date, just because I love you.
Ideally I would have swooped you off your feet with some fancy words making you blush right before I ask you to give me your number, but I didn’t. You just pointed at my phone at the end of the night and reminded me to ask about it. You had my back once again for I was too occupied keeping my heart rate low and my breathing regularly.
You know what I am proud of though? I texted you just minutes after we parted ways, writing to you all the words I couldn’t say, explaining to you how your eyes meeting mine was all I ever needed. And maybe it was too much but it wasn’t too much for you. You saw me, then and now.
And for better or worse you love my writing. You hold on to every letter I write you and every post-it I leave for you.
I was never able to dream of someone falling in love with all of me until I found you. You showed me love for my actions and my words. I’m not just a body around you, I am also a mind and soul.
You allow me to be human in all the ways I dreamt of being. There is space for my rationality and my emotions, there is space for my overbearing energy and my sleepy lows.
You hold me.
You held me when we met and from that day on and I never believed to find someone who could do that. You are a witch, a fairy and a miracle.
And you are mine. Oh you are mine, cause I will fight for you until my last breath and love you even beyond it.

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